Welcome to Comedy Centerfold, where we feature a Dallas Comedy House (DCH) performer and get to know him or her a little better by using questions that Playboy centerfolds are usually asked.
Payton asked to meet at her favorite dining spot on Rodeo Drive. It’s actually called On Rodeo, so it was pretty easy to find. As I approached the table, Payton was just finishing up a conversation with Michael Fassbender. I asked what that was about, and she said he was wanting her acting notes concerning his last performance. I told her I didn’t know she coached Fassbender, and after she took a drink of her S. Pellegrino, she said there’s a lot I don’t know about her. Fair enough, but that was the reason I was here, to learn more about the woman who has two Rs in her last name; the one who flies in via private jet for her Dallas Comedy House shows with the troupes Deep Dish, Gleeful Weapon, Mom Jeans, One Man Show, and Warm Milk; the one who once told Meryl Streep she needed to commit more to her characters if she wanted to make anything of herself.
Anything Kardashian, I’m so sorry.
Either to make it on Saturday Night Live or to have a sex tape with a Kardashian.
For sure, George Clinton and the Parliament-Funkadelic.
Selfish by Kim Kardashian.
Son of Godzilla.
Favorite TV Show?
Keeping Up with the Kardashians or Twin Peaks.
Two cats: Kim and Kanye. Just kidding. I wish I named them that. Their names are Wolfgang and Zelda.
Foods I Crave?
Balls of mozzarella.
People I Admire?
That should be obvious. Amanda Austin…..and Khloe Kardashian.
An extra in a Kardashian sex tape. Or Judy Garland in a biopic.
Favorite Song to Sing?
“Jam (Turn It Up)” by Kim Kardashian. Does anyone remember that?
Good First Date Idea?
Probably hang out at my house, put on our robes, slice each other’s hands open, and pour the blood into the Kardashian Shrine. Or Putt-Putt.
Catch Payton performing at the following shows at the Dallas Comedy House:
Deep Dish (April 6, 9 p.m.), Gleeful Weapon (April 6, 10:30 p.m.), Mom Jeans (March 29, 8 p.m.; April 27, 9 p.m.), One Man Show (March 2, 9 p.m.; April 19, 8 p.m.), and Warm Milk (March 16, 8 p.m.; April 1, 11 p.m.; April 22, 11 p.m.).